I admit, I sometimes feel that I was a little young to start a family. Not measured in life-experience mind you, just in years. I FINALLY have friends (that I knew before I had kids) who will now understand why I live off coffee and peanut butter. But I want to also mention that having babies is not an easy job. Or is it always easy to get pregnant.
Sure there are lots of women who have no idea HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?! I'm not one of them. Technically. I mean, I did take Health and Biology, and I had a pretty hippy mom who was REALLY open about sex and such. What I didn't know was that it was all a LIE. Ok, so, high school health taught me that if you have sex several things will happen: mostly that you'll get pregnant, an STD and DIE. Besides those really scary things, I went to a small high school. I wasn't about to have everyone I knew all up in my business.
What I mean about this whole "LIE" that I was taught was that they said it was easy to get pregnant. That's a bunch of BS if I've ever heard it. It is a hell-of-a-lot more complicated than that. Did you know that any given month, if all your ducks are in a row, you've only got about a 20% of getting pregnant? And if you're older, it's less than that, and if you're younger it's about a 25% chance.
This brings me to my pregnancies. Sami was one of those, we had sex ONCE that month and got pregnant, whoops, pregnancies. I'll admit, it was more than a little shocking. Once?! I mean, really?! Fine. I raise my hand and say we weren't doing EVERYTHING we could to protect against getting pregnant, but ONCE?! That's when that whole LIE about how easy it is to get pregnant totally bit me in the butt. On the other hand, getting pregnant with Rebecca took all the faith I had, all the strength I had, and all the luck in the world. I'm not kidding when I say we tried for 8 months to get pregnant. I was at the end of my rope, then all of a sudden, the stars aligned and it happened. I guess like the stars aligned when I got pregnant with Sam. Only this time, I truly understood what it meant to eat, sleep, breath trying to conceive.
I have a few friends who are pregnant right now (oh right, I mentioned that). But I also have a few friends who are NOT pregnant right now. Not because they don't want to be. They desperately do. They desperately want to get pregnant, but not only that, they want to actually hold a baby in their arms and raise it. Many of them have suffered miscarriages. Which, in itself is devastating, but the fact that they've gotten pregnant, only to have it end in heartbreak, makes the desire for a child just that much more urgent. It humbles me that these women are still my friends. I always feel so lucky that they don't hate me for having the one thing they desire most. I'm grateful for all my friends, but for those that don't have babies or who are having trouble getting pregnant, I have a special place in my heart. And I have a 2.5yr old for sale if you're interested. She's almost housebroken and very smart. ;)
Monday, June 6, 2011
Friday, June 3, 2011
Who makes the rules? Hint: it's NOT me.
Becca is at this stage right now where she doesn't want to be put down. She's totally content to sit on your lap and just hang out, but don't you dare try to set her in the bouncy seat, swing, on the playmat or *gasp* the pack-n-play. Needless to say, it makes it very difficult to get anything done.
It makes it very difficult for me especially because when it's just me around I'm the one who has to hold her. (DUH!) Cuz, you know, it's me, with the boobs. Because she's breastfed (wahoo! go us! *does happy dance*) every time I hold her, she does this thing, like she's an open-mouthed trout. She bobs up and down, opens her little mouth and moves in the direction of the boobs. It makes it especially difficult if I'm trying to rock her to sleep.
Sami took a binky from, like, day one. She sucked on that thing all day, all night, all the time. She loves her binky. Yes, present tense. We are currently trying to get her to give up the addiction, but the binky habit is REALLY hard to break, like crack. Especially when you have an enabler, *ahem* daddy. However, Rebecca will NOT take the binky in most cases. So, in order to soothe Little Miss Picky Pants, it's either give her the boob or let her suffer and cry. It's created quite the dilemma for me. It's not like she's hungry when she's crying like this either. She just doesn't want to be put down.
We spent hours last night trying to get her to just sleep for goodness' sake. I finally resorted to the boob, and nursing her lying down, in my bed. She fell asleep. I scooped her up and tried to put her in the dreaded pack-n-play in our bedroom. She's supposed to sleep there, most of the time she sleeps there for all of half-an-hour, then she's back in our bed; still it's better than nothing. Last night, this plan back-fired. And we were back to square one. Then her daddy comes home.
Daddy is like, The Baby Whisperer. He puts that baby to sleep so quickly it amazes me. Most nights. Last night was no exception. He rocked her for all of .5 seconds, and she was asleep. I warned him though that she wasn't in the mood to be put down. He laughed at me and tried to set her in the swing. Then I hear obsenities. She was NOT in the mood. This continued for like 20 minutes before I gave in, said, "Here I'll take her" and gave her the boob again, in my bed.
It went on like this for a while. I'd "soothe" her by giving her the boob, she'd fall asleep for a while, I'd try to move her, it wouldn't work. Finally, I had given up. I went back to putting her in a tight swaddle and rocking her back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. I was exhausted. She was exhausted. She gave in and fell asleep, and then stayed there in her pack-n-play. I dropped off to sleep roughly at 10:30pm.
At 11:30, she woke up, and it was surprisingly to actually eat, not just be soothed.. So, we started all over again...Today--I'm tired. So. Very. Tired.
It makes it very difficult for me especially because when it's just me around I'm the one who has to hold her. (DUH!) Cuz, you know, it's me, with the boobs. Because she's breastfed (wahoo! go us! *does happy dance*) every time I hold her, she does this thing, like she's an open-mouthed trout. She bobs up and down, opens her little mouth and moves in the direction of the boobs. It makes it especially difficult if I'm trying to rock her to sleep.
Sami took a binky from, like, day one. She sucked on that thing all day, all night, all the time. She loves her binky. Yes, present tense. We are currently trying to get her to give up the addiction, but the binky habit is REALLY hard to break, like crack. Especially when you have an enabler, *ahem* daddy. However, Rebecca will NOT take the binky in most cases. So, in order to soothe Little Miss Picky Pants, it's either give her the boob or let her suffer and cry. It's created quite the dilemma for me. It's not like she's hungry when she's crying like this either. She just doesn't want to be put down.
We spent hours last night trying to get her to just sleep for goodness' sake. I finally resorted to the boob, and nursing her lying down, in my bed. She fell asleep. I scooped her up and tried to put her in the dreaded pack-n-play in our bedroom. She's supposed to sleep there, most of the time she sleeps there for all of half-an-hour, then she's back in our bed; still it's better than nothing. Last night, this plan back-fired. And we were back to square one. Then her daddy comes home.
Daddy is like, The Baby Whisperer. He puts that baby to sleep so quickly it amazes me. Most nights. Last night was no exception. He rocked her for all of .5 seconds, and she was asleep. I warned him though that she wasn't in the mood to be put down. He laughed at me and tried to set her in the swing. Then I hear obsenities. She was NOT in the mood. This continued for like 20 minutes before I gave in, said, "Here I'll take her" and gave her the boob again, in my bed.
It went on like this for a while. I'd "soothe" her by giving her the boob, she'd fall asleep for a while, I'd try to move her, it wouldn't work. Finally, I had given up. I went back to putting her in a tight swaddle and rocking her back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. I was exhausted. She was exhausted. She gave in and fell asleep, and then stayed there in her pack-n-play. I dropped off to sleep roughly at 10:30pm.
At 11:30, she woke up, and it was surprisingly to actually eat, not just be soothed.. So, we started all over again...Today--I'm tired. So. Very. Tired.
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